Snowballs of Doom
by MegannElle
Summary: One shot, first time writing. It's not complete but reviews are welcome. Enjoy, strangahs!


Hello friends! Well, here's my first attempt at writing. Wesker and snowballs, odd combination yeah? Hopefully this turns out the way I want it to! Enjoy strangahs!

**Special thanks to: **Special Agent FUNK for inspiring me. I am forever in your debt for introducing me to this.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own RE, Wesker, HUNK, or Krauser. Or any other RE characters that appear here. If I did, I wouldn't be here writing about them, yeah? I'd be off on a vacation with them instead. Sadly, I'm not nor will I ever be. Capcom pwns forever.

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Snowmen. That was one thing that Wesker did not understand about Winter. Well, that and the fact that people loved to throw snowballs at one another. What was their fascination with hitting each other with balls of snow? Did it fulfill some kind of human desire for hurting others? Wesker grinned at the thought. He was more than capable of hurting others without having to use a ball of snow. But as he looked outside at the rather large amount of people outside playing in the snow creating those things called snowmen, he wondered why snowmen were created. What was their purpose? Could he possibly inject one…

"Sir! Sir, did you see that?" Krauser, one of Weskers most trusted employees and also his friend, came running into his office almost bursting with excitement, interrupting Weskers thoughts of snowmen and viruses.

"See what, Jack?" Wesker turned around in his chair to face a red faced Krauser, covered head to foot in snow. "Before you answer that, please inform me as to why you are covered in snow and why you decided to track it into my office? You're going to ruin my carpet…"

"Sorry…But did you see? There was a snowball fight out front! HUNK and I decided to initiate one and boy, did everyone else come about once we started!" The smile faded slightly from his face. "But…HUNK got slightly excited and threw a snowball too hard and…well…"

Wesker sighed. "What happened, Jack? And be brief about it. I have reports that I need to work on."

"Well...HUNK accidentally threw a snowball at a civilian when he was walking by. Left a rather large hole in his upper torso. But...you now have a dead body on the front lawn, sir." Krauser turned around quickly and tried to escape before he had to hear Wesker's reaction.

"Krauser, don't move." Wesker stood up and walked over to the window. He took off his sunglasses for a brief moment to observe the obvious commotion and destruction outside. However, it was not what he expected at all.

"Why on earth...Is this some kind of joke, Krauser?" He quickly replaced his sunglasses over his eyes and looked around at the field of white outside of his office. Outside, in the snow, was a rather large group of snowmen. HUNK was standing in the middle of the giant snow field with a sign that said, "Come outside!" Human Unit Never Killed was about to be Human Unit Killed By Snowballs. Wesker chuckled softly at the thought. Maybe snowballs could prove useful after all. If he could just think of the perfect serum...

"No joke, sir. We just want you to come outside and see our snowmen. We made one for you, and one for me, and HUNK, and..." Wesker could tell that Jack was getting excited just _talking_ about the snowmen. He tuned him out to focus on the thought that had been nagging him all morning. What could possibly be so interesting about them that he decided to make a whole group of them? They would all just melt in a few days time and would end up being nothing but giant puddles of water that people would more than likely slip and fall on. They held no interest to Wesker whatsoever. But Jack seemed to be happy, and from what he remembered as a child, which really wasn't much as Wesker believed that he was never truly a child, the creation of snowmen was a normal ritual practiced in the Winter. Maybe, just maybe, he would go down to observe the piles of frozen water.

"Can I not just observe from my office? I have many reports that need working on..." He turned around and went to sit in his chair, his gaze remaining halfway on Jack, halfway on his desk. His reports were piling up faster than usual these days, mainly because he was on his way to developing a new virus. But nobody else had to know about that just yet.

"Sir please?" It was almost like he was begging Wesker, which was one thing he could not handle. He almost felt the need to throw his stapler at Jack just to make himself feel better. _Almost_. But he was of sound mind today, which was rare for Wesker, so he decided against it.

"Jack, I really must insist that you stop saying please. It does nothing but irritate me more." Although secretly, Wesker found it amusing and cute that he was so excited about showing Wesker his snowmen. Maybe he should go see them. Only to get a better idea of how he could mutate them to do his bidding. Maybe even get rid of Chris for good..."What a marvelous idea! Jack, I insist you take me to them at once!" He stood up quickly and was at the door to his office before Jack could even blink. "Off we go now! Hurry, hurry."

A confused, but excited, Jack followed Wesker out of the building, practically running to keep up with the hurried steps of his boss. "Slow down there, eh? It's not like the snowmen are suddenly going to mutate and walk away!"

"If only you knew, Jack. If only you knew." Wesker muttered under his breath. His hurried steps slowed to a normal walk, allowing Krauser to catch up to his side.

"Say something, did you?" He didn't seem all that interested in what Wesker had just said, although his tone did suggest he was curious. Sometimes he was too curious for his own good. "Ah, never mind. I can't wait for you to see our snowmen!" His child-like attitude came back in an instant which allowed Wesker to breathe easier for now. He didn't want to indulge his comrade in his plans to create a snowmen army hell-bent on destroying that stalker, Chris Redfield, for good. A world without him, Wesker thought, would be a wonderful world indeed.

Once they reached the front entrance of Wesker's building, Krauser grabbed a hold of Wesker's arm to stop him.

"Krauser, I insist that you let go of my arm immediately unless you want to be called Stumpy." Wesker jerked his arm away abruptly and glared at Krauser. Sometimes he would conveniently forget that Wesker never wanted to be touched, under any circumstances. Mainly because he didn't want to catch anyone else's germs, as the human body was one of the most filthy surfaces he had ever encountered. He was never sure how his aversion to germs came about, seeing as how he was constantly pumping a virus through his veins to keep himself alive. He supposed it was because of his "childhood" and the warnings his mother used to give him to scare him into avoiding contact with others, mainly girls.

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It's a work in progress. To be continued...blahblahblah. Reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated. Flamers will be hit in the face with a snowball by HUNK.

**-ME**


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